I'm not saying the Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt grants you eternal life. I'm just not saying it doesn't.

20 Most bizarre Craigslist ads

Found Here

Some of my favorites:

I want some orange juice

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Date: 2009-01-07, 10:08PM EST

---

I'll give you $2 + cost if you'll deliver me some orange juice with receipt. I'm too lazy to get it myself. I live right by University Drive in Elon. Thank you.

Seeking Adult Drunk Clown for 30th Birthday party

---

Date: 2008-08-26, 3:22PM CDT

---

We need an Adult Drunk Clown who is good at getting drunk and stupid. No need to do any clown tricks, just hang out and drink a shit load. We will be hopping around to different bars and want a clown to tag a long and drink heavely. He doesn't even need to socialize with anyone, just drink.

the birthday is on Friday, Sept. 5th in Bucktown. Oh, did I mention that the clown needs to get shitfaced. Don't worry, we will purchase all the drinks.

Woman to sit in my bath tub full of noodles, wearing a bathing suit.

---

Date: 2009-04-29, 1:39AM EDT

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I will pay you $1 USD to sit in my bathtub full of noodles while you wear a one piece bathing suit.

I will not be home, nor will anyone else while you do this.

I will leave the key for you, and you will sit at your leisure.

I will require at least a 5 minutes stay.

A neighbor will watch the front door from across the street and using a supplied stopwatch, will time your entry and departure.

Please supply your own footwear.

The noodles will be cooked, and therefore slippery.

DO NOT bring any sauce. I will season the pasta after I return home prior to dinner.

Don't be a criminal

So guy tries to rob house, runs into guys who live there, including one with a samuri sword. He then goes after them, and gets his hand cut off and slashed all over. Then he dies.

I think Brothers Grimm has the same story.

Story Here

“Whiskey don’t make liars, it just makes fools. So I didn’t mean to say it, but I meant what I said.”—James McMurtry

Craigs creepily grinding on a girl. Told me he thinks I'm being creepy when I told a girl "who the fuck are you" and "how much is a beer? Ok I'll have one"

IGN Video: Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day Movie Trailer - Trailer

IGN Video: Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day Movie Trailer - Trailer

Shared via AddThis

Uh huh.

I always wanted to go to Mt. Rushmore. From what I've heard and researched, this is what it looks like.






What can I say, Im just

Drinking is the Answer

To getting into shape... A new study has found that moderate and heavy drinkers get more exercise than abstainers. Ship that scotch over!!

Article

Drink of the Day

The LeBomb James
-pour 3 packs of Splenda on your hands
-drop a shot of Crown Royal into a glass of Red Bull
- chug it down, then throw the Splenda up in the air like baby powder

Cooler and Grill in One?

But of course! It seems so obvious!

http://www.tailgateapproved.com/tg/#/grooler

I also heard today of a show about people who made millions, including a guy who created what basically is a straw that blows bubbles. Man it's bothersome sometimes that people like that can make millions. I'll just have to hit megamillions I guess.

jean-robert bellande's existence might bother me more than anything else in the world.

Music Playlist

Social Distortion - Bad Luck
Taylor Swift - You belong with me


and I like them both.

vick

not gonna lie, it was a little weird when talking to michael vick he asked me who I thought would win in a fight, Goofy or Pluto.

skype

So I got into skype because a bunch of people in the poker world use it... so if your on skype add me dave.colin

I especially like the video chatting when I can add funky backgrounds and stuff for my amusement while listening to your boring part of the conversation.

crossfit

Some of you know I'm obsessed with something called CrossFit. Its basically intense workouts and looks pretty weird in a normal gym. Anyways I can and probably at points will talk about it forever, but instead I will explain it in 100 words.

Eat meat and vegetables, nuts and seeds, some fruit, little starch and no sugar. Keep intake to levels that will support exercise but not body fat. Practice and train major lifts: Deadlift, clean, squat, presses, C&J, and snatch. Similarly, master the basics of gymnastics: pull-ups, dips, rope climb, push-ups, sit-ups, presses to handstand, pirouettes, flips, splits, and holds. Bike, run, swim, row, etc, hard and fast. Five or six days per week mix these elements in as many combinations and patterns as creativity will allow. Routine is the enemy. Keep workouts short and intense. Regularly learn and play new sports.
~Greg Glassman

Todays WOD (Workout of the day)
5 rounds for total reps
1 min row for calories
1 min push jerk
1 minute rest


Score: 167
Seemed like average score was close to 180 so I didnt do so hot. Oh well, theres always tomorrow.

Fiji water revisited

Aright I've been really really bad with this blog thing, but starting today I'm back on the horse. This time around less poker lingo (at least until next years world series) and more brilliant insight from the one and only, Dave Colin.

Interesting article about how bad it is to drink Fiji water. Reminds me I have to get another case.

We

davecolin.com is now bigger than citigroup!!! confirmed by a citi employee

Bros like this site

Bros like this site. They also like this site, which lists a whole bunch of stuff Bros like, and the differences between bros and bras, both of whom like this site. (Confused? Just click the link and laugh at it)

Www.davecolin.com shirts coming soon

Tonight: dan still can't smoke a cigar, America is awesome, mr. Wilkinson moved a block away from me, and texting random people "when you gonna let me tap that" is funny but unsuccesful

Jewish Celebrities

Check out how many of us are famous. Lots of hot girls! And this doesn't even include Emmanuelle Chriqui!

Jewish Celebs

100 Things Your Kids May Never Know

And really, 100 things that kids today don't know about. I wonder hoe many of these things an average 14 year old has experienced today. From Wired

Audio Visual Entertainment

1. Inserting a VHS tape into a VCR to watch a movie or to record something
2. Super 8 movies and cine film of all kinds
3. Playing music on a audio tape using a personal stereo - see what happens when you give a Walkman to todays teenager
4. The number of TV channels being a single digit - I remember it being a massive event when the UK got its 4th channel
5. Standard Definition, CRT TVs filling up half your living room
6. Rotary dial televisions with no remote control - you know, the ones where the kids were the remote control
7. High-Speed Dubbing
8. 8 Track cartridges
9. Vinyl records - even todays DJs are going laptop or CD
10. Betamax tapes
11. MiniDisc
12. Laserdisc - The LP of DVD
13. Scanning the radio dial and hearing static between stations (digital tuners + HD Radio bork this concept)
14. Shortwave radio
15. 3D movies meaning red/green glasses
16. Watching TV when the networks say you should - Tivo and Sky+ are slowing killing this one
17. That there was a time before ‘Reality TV’


Photo credit: smin via flickr

Computers and Video Gaming

18. Wires - OK, so they’re not gone yet, but it won’t be long
19. The scream of a modem connecting
20. The buzz of a dot matrix printer
21. 5 and 3 inch floppies, Zip Discs and countless other forms of data storage
22. Using Jumpers to set IRQs
23. DOS
24. Terminals accessing the mainframe
25. Screens being just green (or orange) on black
26. Tweaking the volume setting on your tape deck to get a computer game to load, and waiting ages for it to actually do it
27. Daisy chaining your SCSI devices and making sure they’ve all got a different ID
28. Counting in Kilobytes
29. Wondering if you can afford to buy a RAM upgrade
30. Blowing the dust out of a NES cartridge in the hopes that it’ll load this time
31. Turning a PlayStation on its end to try and get a game to load
32. Joysticks
33. Having to delete something to make room on your hard drive
34. Booting your computer off of a floppy disk
35. Recording a song in a studio


Photo credit: ghbrett via flickr

The Internet

36. NCSA Mosaic
37. Finding out information from an Encyclopedia
38. Using a road atlas to get from A to B
39. Doing Bank business only when the Bank is open
40. Only shopping during the day, Monday to Saturday
41. Phone books and Yellow Pages
42. Newspapers and magazines made from dead trees
43. Actually being able to get a domain name consisting of real words
44. Filling out an order form by hand, putting it in an envelope and posting it
45. Not knowing exactly what all of your friends are doing and thinking at every moment
46. Carrying on a correspondence with real letters, especially the handwritten kind
47. Archie Searches
48. Gopher Searches
49. Concatenating and UUDecoding binaries from Usenet
50. Privacy
51. The fact that words generally don’t have num8er5 in them
52. Correct spelling of phrases, rather than TLAs
53. Waiting several minutes (or even hours!) to download something
54. The time before botnets/security vulnerabilities due to always on and always connected PCs
55. The time before PC networks
56. When Spam was just a meat product (or even a Monty Python sketch)


Photo credit: Chris Devers via flickr

Gadgets

57. Typewriters
58. Putting film in your camera - 35mm may have some life still but what about APS or Disk?
59. Sending that film away to be processed
60. Having physical prints of photographs come back to you
61. CB radios
62. Getting lost - with GPS coming to more and more phones, your location is only a click away
63. Rotary dial telephones
64. Answering machines
65. Using a stick to point at information on a wallchart
66. Pay phones
67. Phones with actual bells in them
68. Fax machines
69. Vacuum cleaners with bags in them


Photo credit: ansik via flickr

Everything else

70. Taking turns picking a radio station, or selecting a tape, for EVERYONE to listen to during a long drive
71. Remembering someone’s phone number
72. Not knowing who was calling you on the phone
73. Actually going down to a Blockbuster store to rent a movie
74. Toys actually being suitable for the under-3s
75. LEGO just being square blocks of various sizes, with the old wheel, window or door
76. Waiting for the television network premiere to watch a movie after its run at the theatre
77. Relying on the 5-minute sport segment on the nightly news for baseball highlights
78. Neat handwriting
79. The days before the Nanny State
80. Starbuck being a man
81. Han shoots first
82. “Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father” - but they’ve already seen episode III, so it’s no big surprise
83. Kentucky Fried Chicken, as opposed to KFC
84. Trig Tables and Log Tables
85. “Don’t know what a Slide Rule is for…”
86. Finding books in a card catalog at the library
87. Swimming pools with diving boards
88. Hershey bars in silver wrappers
89. Sliding the paper outer wrapper off of a Kit-Kat, placing it on the palm of your hand and clapping to make it bang loudly. Then sliding your finger down the silver foil of break off the first finger
90. A Marathon bar (what a Snickers used to be called in the UK)
91. Having to manually unlock a car door
92. Writing a check
93. Looking out the window during a long drive
94. Roller skates, as opposed to blades
95. Cash
96. Libraries as a place to get books rather than a place to use the Internet
97. Spending your entire allowance at the arcade in the mall
98. OMNI Magazine
99. A physical dictionary (either or spelling or definitions)
100. When a ‘Geek’ and a ‘Nerd’ were one and the same

Sick Sick Ad/Video

This DC shoes video shows some of the coolest driving and effects I've seen in what is basically an ad. There is no doubt that it increases the coolness of the brand and is awesome, but how do you measure the value that this created (because it certainly was expensive to make!)?

23 Inch Monitor for 160 bucks

http://www.buxr.com/deal/acer-x233h-23-widescreen-hd-lcd-monitor-1080p_27942

Smiling Dog

80k on last break
16k lost 99 vs ako allin pre for over 100
Busted. Didn't cash

63k. I open guy raises sb I call with 64dd. Flop tc 3d 2d he checks I bet he jams I call and lose 300k pot

200k. I raise middle pos with q9dd bb calls. flop jt5 check I check. Turn 5 he bets 10k I call riv t he bets 10k I make it 34200 with q hi and he tank folds a 5

170k at dinner break

172k lost 65k pot allin pre with 55 vs qq

Got moved thank god 152k new table looks yummy I get to table one guy says "nice to meet u I heard about u" and another "hi mr humpy I watch u play online" yumm

140k absurd table change ivey elky john monnette david levi

167k on break

171k just had to fold kk on turn after ace flopped and I checkcall flop check turn

160k

126k at break

105k tried to bluff ran into nuts not good when I bet 34500 on riv and it doesn't take a second for him to call

from wsop.com

Colin Cruising Early

Catching the action with the board reading Bryan Colin slid out a bet of 25,000 into an already healthy pot of 55,000. His only opponent in the hand deliberated over the decision for quite a while before eventually making the call. Colin turned over his for a flopped set, and his opponent mucked to see Colin rake in the pot to move to over 150,000 - just over double what he began the day with.

152k I raise utg+1 with blak jacks buttons calls flop ac jd 9d I bet 5600 he calls. Turn 7s I bet 13700 he calls. Riv 3d I bet 25k he tank calls no fear by me

WSOP Main Event Day 3

Bryan will be continuing to update us via text message. There are 2,044 people returning today for 5 levels of play which should end at about 1am PST. About 650 people make the money.

From Bryan:
96k in chips. Table looks ok, there is a hippie with chips, a cute asian girl jc alvorado??? and farzad bonyadi.

Stay tuned for more!

76k made big call with kj on qj862 board and floated a couple flops the checkfold turn
End of day 71100 jimmie busted

48k raised utg with qq sb reraises I jam. Then call open with ajo in bb flop j99 I checkcall turn blank check check riv blank I bet 5600 he folds

33k card dead

37k at dinner break

34k kt vs kj on k hi flop running awful

60k riased ajdd guy shoved button allin I call lose to ako

92k raised 63dd flop flush draw turn str8 draw also triple barrel called. Then folded to 4b pre
67k guy raises I reraise bb calls he calls j8ss flop a96 with 2 spades check around turn qs guy checks I bet fold then cr to 13k I call riv blank he jams I call
He has ktss only hand that beats me and awful call pre

I bet 5600 he makes it 13k I make is 36800 he tank folds

107k raised bunch of callers with 99 flop k87 with 2 diamonds I have a diamond I bet guy jams I call he has 87 and holds
118k. Was under 100 when I had kqss and folded to a riv jam after floating turn. Then cutoff raises I reraise kk he calls. Flop 223 with 2 clubs he checks I bet

127k just stealin a bunch

108k raise utg mp calls I reraise 5700 wit 33 utg calls he check calls flop 6200 check fold 12k board j855. Then call allin push with ajhh vs 88 and lose
122k playing real sick (in the head). Raise 45o to 1200 in late position button calls bb makes it 3600 we both call. Flop at8 I get sick read bb misses. He bets
3600 I make it 8k button folds bb folds and shows kk

DAY 1 WSOP TOP CHIPS

Eric Cloutier

150,750

Redmond Lee

134,275

Jean Docquier

122,755

Marcucci Gianluca

118,000

Peter Buermann

117,400

Ebrahim Mourshaki

116,025

Balazs Botond

113,000

Alexander Grishchuk

111,875

Jimmie Guinther

110,425

Arthur Rhea

109,275

Joe Luht

108,125

Bryan Colin

106,000

Jimmi has 100 I have 108. I limp eqarly with 55 sb call bb is old floridian and checks. Flop t86r checked around turn 5 they check I bet 800 call then 2800 I
Call sb fold. Riv 7 he bets 5500 I tank call and ship it. Then win small allin pre with tt vs ako

86k on break 1 level left table not good 1 big stack on each side then a buncha real shorties

Sammy aka retard busted

84k tried to trap with a6 on t366 board but he check behind on riv I checkcalled flop and turn

Playin solid have 77k besides when I 3b with t3o old guy with chips who I'm attacking he 4bet I fold and show

79k at dinner break sammy has 34k jimmie has 68k

92k. I raise utg 5 callers I have 77. Flop k75 I check guy checks bet 1700 button calls I make it 8k guy next to me folds aa bettor folds button overjams I snap
He had 55 I fade one outer. Good round 22 to 92k

52k. Guy opens cutoff I call button w 89cc bb calls. Flop a75 w 2 clubs. Bet raise I call bb call. Turn 6o bet 5k call I jam bb calls with 77 other tankfolds a7

Love my table don't recognize anyone nice collection of older floridians,foreigners and tommy bahama shirts. Min reraising etc I have won 4 of first 6 hands
Tried a squeeze with k9d got called in 3 spots flopped gutshot str8 flush draw triple barrelled and got called down to 23k still love the table
Raise in middle 2 called I call bb with 34o flop j94 I check raiser bets folded to me I call. Turn 4 check check. Riv ten no suits I bet 1600 he makes in 5100
I tank and fold down to 21k
Introduced an old florida dude to mr valuetown raised and triple barrelled a 337j9 board with jq, flush came also then lost the min with jj I have like 24k

Bryan wsop main event update: Love my table don't recognize anyone nice collection of older floridians,foreigners and tommy bahama shirts. Min reraising etc I have won 4 of first 6 hands

Awful Paintings of our president

http://www.badpaintingsofbarackobama.com/

Internets Best E-Cards

Check out WrongCards for some of the funniest most inappropriate free e-cards. They also have cards for zombie attacks.

Luxury Pirate Hunting Cruises

Via Wendmag.com

"Just when I thought pirates were out of the news I came across this juicy tidbit…

Luxury yachts in Russia are offering pirate hunting cruises in the dangerous waters off the coast of Somalia with the hope of being attacked.

Passengers pay about $5,000 to patrol and can pay an extra $17.50 a day to receive an AK-47 machine gun for protection and about $10 for 100 rounds of ammo.

The yachts travel from Djibouti to Mombasa in Kenya and deliberately cruise close to the coast at a speed of about five nautical miles hoping to attract pirates.

Apparently there are also ex special forces agents on the yachts to lend passengers additional support should the pirates somehow get past the barrage of machine gun bullets.

I know, I know. Pirate-hunting sounds like some kind of joke, or perhaps the plot of a new action movie. But if it is indeed true (the story was reported by ABC which makes it somewhat credible), we need to seriously consider taking Running Man Ben Richards out of retirement and sending him in to turn the tables on our wealthy comrades.

Arnold Schwartzenager [as Ben Richards dressed as a pirate] to Russian yacht passenger: “I live to see you eat that contract, but I hope you leave enough room for my fist because I’m going to ram it into your stomach and break your god-damn spine!”

[Via: ABC]

FREE WHITE CASTLE SLIDER

Just print out and bring this coupon.

http://www.whitecastle.com/88/coupon.html

7 Reasons Transformers 2 is Racist

I'm pretty sure this article is joking, but the people in the comments are not.

Inspiration

I've been really lazy about going to the gym, but saw this video that makes me want to go really bad. I will go today!

2 random thoughts

1. Taylor Swift looked so hot tonight at the CMT music awards. Here she is with T-Pain.



2. I've seen The Dark Knight many times, and still have yet to catch every meaning at the ending, but it gives me chills every time.

3. Taylor Swift <3s www.davecolin.com

Wow long island

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Long Island Wants to Secede
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Jason Jones in Iran

lol poker

Full Tilt Poker Game #12776104173: Table Turf (heads up) - $3/$6 - Limit Hold'em - 18:41:14 ET - 2009/06/12
Seat 1: lucha ($497)
Seat 2: golfinmom1 ($337)
lucha posts the small blind of $1.50
golfinmom1 posts the big blind of $3
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to golfinmom1 [Th 7h]
lucha raises to $6
golfinmom1 calls $3
*** FLOP *** [Qd Td Jh]
golfinmom1 checks
lucha checks
*** TURN *** [Qd Td Jh] [Kh]
golfinmom1 checks
lucha bets $6
golfinmom1 calls $6
*** RIVER *** [Qd Td Jh Kh] [Ac]
golfinmom1 bets $6
lucha folds
Uncalled bet of $6 returned to golfinmom1
golfinmom1 mucks
golfinmom1 wins the pot ($23.50)
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $24 | Rake $0.50
Board: [Qd Td Jh Kh Ac]
Seat 1: lucha (small blind) folded on the River
Seat 2: golfinmom1 (big blind) collected ($23.50), mucked





Full Tilt Poker Game #12776139127: Table Rothwell (6 max) - $2/$4 - $120 Cap No Limit Hold'em - 18:43:11 ET - 2009/06/12
Seat 1: PaperEmpire ($426.10)
Seat 2: golfinmom1 ($83.60)
Seat 3: lleytonrc ($459.10)
Seat 4: Ruggedman ($427)
Seat 5: JIMBOJET123 ($388.80)
Seat 6: IfloatU ($200.30)
JIMBOJET123 posts the small blind of $2
IfloatU posts the big blind of $4
The button is in seat #4
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to golfinmom1 [4c 4s]
PaperEmpire folds
golfinmom1 raises to $9
lleytonrc has 15 seconds left to act
lleytonrc folds
Ruggedman has 15 seconds left to act
Ruggedman folds
JIMBOJET123 calls $7
IfloatU raises to $30
golfinmom1 raises to $83.60, and is all in
JIMBOJET123 folds
IfloatU calls $53.60
golfinmom1 shows [4c 4s]
IfloatU shows [Th 6h]
*** FLOP *** [8s Kc Kh]
*** TURN *** [8s Kc Kh] [5c]
*** RIVER *** [8s Kc Kh 5c] [2s]
golfinmom1 shows two pair, Kings and Fours
IfloatU shows a pair of Kings
golfinmom1 wins the pot ($173.20) with two pair, Kings and Fours
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $176.20 | Rake $3
Board: [8s Kc Kh 5c 2s]
Seat 1: PaperEmpire didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: golfinmom1 showed [4c 4s] and won ($173.20) with two pair, Kings and Fours
Seat 3: lleytonrc didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: Ruggedman (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: JIMBOJET123 (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 6: IfloatU (big blind) showed [Th 6h] and lost with a pair of Kings

Hilarious

Tenant Owning Landlord

Absolutely hilarious, read it all.

It's Hammer Time

Group of dancers wearing Hammer Pants flashmob a trendy store and surprise hipsters in skinny jeans.

Fiji

So I can barely afford rent in my new place, have 0 furniture (but 20 hats 30 sneakers, and 50 tshirts) but have stocked my fridge full of fiji water. I can't explain it but I must drink Fiji water as much as possible. I have no doubt in my mind that I couldn't actually tell the difference in a blind taste test but nonetheless there is my fridge full of it. I really am thinking about moving on to Panna water, as it is even more Deuchbaggier and comes in a glass bottle.



I am really particular about what I like to drink, so for that matter a few MUST HAVES for everywhere I live.

1. Fiji
2. Jameson
3. coors light bottles (BOTTLES NOT CANS)
4. Stoli